About a year ago, last summer, I had a vision in the middle of the night. I saw an amber TV screen flashing, and along the bottom were scrolling these words in black:
"I request that you trust Me" or "Because you don't trust Me."
This was news to me, but the message was clear. God was letting me know that I didn't trust Him. And if a dream is a whisper, wooing you closer to inquire of Him to explain the mysteries..., this "night vision" was a SHOUT. Crystal clear so there would be no misinterpreting.
I didn't know I had a problem with trusting God, so I decided to investigate. I looked up the word. There are two of them in Hebrew, and both are clear images meaning: "To flee from a place of danger and take refuge in a safe place." In fact "take refuge" is a pretty good translation. This is seen several times in parallel imagery in the Psalms:
"You are my refuge, My God in whom I trust". In fact, different versions of the Bible translate these interchangeably.
Psalm 18:2 in the KJV: The LORD [is] my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, [and] my high tower.
In the NIV: The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
So, I confessed, I studied it out, and nothing really changed. I didn't know how to trust. And I didn't even know that I didn't know yet.
Fast forward three months or so: crisis, process, pain, loss, betrayal, grief, disappointment, seeing ugly things about myself, process of forgiving- especially myself, etc.
Jesus said to me:
"You talk alot about me, you think alot about me, you read alot about me, you sing to me, you hear my voice, you prophesy, you connect the dots, but you don't spend a lot of time just you and me, interactively. You're not truly present with me. You're not real with me. You don't trust me."
So, I gave it a shot. I pictured myself under the shadow of His wings, next to His heart, in a safe place where I could be real with what was hurting. I asked him to hold back the enemy, to make it safe, to close the eyes and ears of the enemy who would hold anything against me or interfere. I bawled and wept and cried as I told Him about the shame, the fear, the hurt, the 'not wanting to feel this way', etc., and something lifted. I was still alive. His love met me there and brought healing. On repeated occasions.
Last summer when I looked up the word, I saw it meant "to flee from danger/to take refuge".
I just looked it up again to make sure I had it right and there is another meaning for both Hebrew words and the Greek, that slipped by the first time: "to confide in". This is what trusting looked like for me. Telling Him my secrets so I wouldn't have to bear them alone. Bringing the darkness to the Light. And then there's no darkness. A concealed wound is an unhealed wound. The enemy would try to keep us from this "secret place" and in darkness.
So began my adventure with what I've come to call "interaction with the Voice of Love".
Man may have good ideas, understanding, knowledge, wisdom and tools in their tool belt; but the Holy Spirit knows what to do in each instance.
I remember watching a movie a few years ago. At the end, this Mexican child, who had just seen his father murdered, was walking down the street, kicking a pebble. I started crying and thought of the trauma, shock, fear and terror that were lodged in his spirit. I thought, "How are we going to bring healing to these children?" Even IF we could send trained counselors to every orphanage in Latin America, even IF the money was available and people would take time out of their schedules, even IF there were translators with a grid and those willing to travel, The process seems so long, so hard, so overwhelming. To lead them through forgiveness, repentance for judging their fathers for abandoning them, to renounce foundational lies written on their souls, teaching 'boundaries', etc.
And after wondering for years about how to heal the world, Jesus said, "It doesn't have to be that complex. I can do it. Trust Me. You can teach them to ask, to listen, to trust (to flee from danger to safety and to confide), to interact. To combine what they hear from Me with the faith that I will give them. I know what to do every time."
Psalm 118:8 "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man."
I've been to counseling and I've been to Jesus. I LOVE my counselors, those who have loved me with Jesus' love, and encouraged me, heard from Holy Spirit, brought deliverance, words of knowledge, appropriated His wisdom and helped me get 'unstuck'. It's definitely helpful, I'll go again, I'm not saying there's not a place for it, we need each other. It's both/and.
But give me Jesus.
"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus." (Acts 4:13)
I'll end with that. Blessings in the process, Sonja
P.S. I've been re-reading the Psalms replacing "trust" with "flee to a safe place" or "confide in". Rich and helpful.
Psalm 13:5 "I find a safe place in your unfailing love. I confide in you there. My heart rejoices in your salvation/healing/deliverance."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
desert wonderings
In defense of the desert: A lot of people that live there have pools. Ha. Actually, it just occurred to me that I actually DID live in a desert for awhile. A lot of redemptive names going on in the desert: "Oasis of Hope", "Desert Springs", etc. (Hermiston feel free to chime in.)
I've been kicking around this desert theme for a few months now, originally taking off from the verse in Hosea 2:14 "Therefore I am going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor (Trouble) a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth...." --God
At first this tender speaking was surprising to me. Like Hosea's wayward wife and God's wayward Israel, I didn't believe I deserved it. Read: earned it. In other words, my religious mindset was screaming but God was so sweet. So He spoke to me of love and grace and hope and mysteries.
About two months ago, I read some internet "word" by Frank Viola about the desert. It's been awhile since I read it, but three things were seared into my spirit. I'm going to number them so that he gets credit, but know that I have taken these and expounded....
1) You don't settle in the desert. I'm listing this one first as a kind of disclaimer, because of all of the fun that I'm managing to have in this desert. But the point is: The desert is not our inheritance, it's the Promised Land! The temple was not built in the desert, the milk and honey was not in the desert. Eyes on the prize! We must look ahead and not settle.
So: how did some of us get here? We were either led here by the Spirit, or it was sprung on us. I really don't think anyone chooses the desert, but it does have it's purpose.
John the Baptist, Luke 1:80 "And the child grew and became strong in spirit; and he lived in the desert until he appeared publicly to Israel." I like the fact that it's 1:80. As in: Do an aboutface.
John's message was "Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand." Repent is often defined as going in the opposite direction. I like Bill Johnson's take: "Change your way of thinking." (see note: irony alert)
Jesus himself was led by the Spirit into the wilderness. The Israelites escaped Egypt, only to be pursued, then crossed the Red Sea and watched its same waters drown the Egyptians, only to find themselves in: the wilderness. (These two words are interchangable...Strongs 4057) God had mentioned the Promised Land, but sprung on them: the desert. Desert Springs.
Why the desert?
2) The desert is where we get detoxed of religion. First example being the Israelites. They needed to get the slavery out of them before they could handle the freedom of the Promised Land. Evidentally it took a whole generation dying off. THIS IS SERIOUS!!!! We REALLY need to "change our mind" about some things. I'm not gonna say what because I don't know, could be different for everyone. But! Evidentally of the "best of the best" from each tribe, only two (Caleb and Joshua) believed God at his word despite the signs, wonders and miracles they had seen.
The second example: Paul. Formerly a Christian-killing Pharisee named Saul, this guy spent 3 years in (you guessed it) the desert (Gal 1:17-18) before meeting with the other apostles. I would guess the Lord spoke tenderly to him there, revealing the amazing message of grace to this religious man and it took three years in Arabia to accomplish this. I'm sure he needed to detox from a lot of religion.
As I said earlier, I was surprised by the amount of the religious spirit I had.
3) In the desert, you eat manna. Manna is a type of Jesus. John 6:30-35: "So they asked him, 'What miraculous sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? Our forefathers ate the manna in the desert; as it is written: 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat.' Jesus said to them, 'I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.' 'Sir,' they said, 'from now on give us this bread.' Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life.' "
The religious people were asking for a sign, and then saw that there was something better: Bread from heaven. A caution, then, would be not to grow so used to the Manna, like the Israelites did and go back to sign-seeking. (If you know me, you know I love signs, and they surely follow those who believe, not the other way around.) It's all about Jesus and the Manna is such beautiful provision. It reminds me of the Delirious? song: "Most of all, I love to hear Your Voice O God."
Manna was the Hebrew word for "What is it?" In other words, while you're in the desert, ask questions! "Call to me and I will answer you and I will show you great and unsearchable things you do not know." --God. This is of course a promise to all, but there's something beautiful about desert desperation and provision and the closeness of Jesus.
I'll conclude with this: The desert is not our destiny, but sometimes we must go through the desert to get to it. While we don't necessarily like "process", God uses a whole bunch of processes to produce strong-spirited sons who "who so love the people in this world". The kingdom is at hand, the Spirit is our guide, Jesus is Faithful and True and our Father is very, very good. Taste and see.
I've been kicking around this desert theme for a few months now, originally taking off from the verse in Hosea 2:14 "Therefore I am going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor (Trouble) a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth...." --God
At first this tender speaking was surprising to me. Like Hosea's wayward wife and God's wayward Israel, I didn't believe I deserved it. Read: earned it. In other words, my religious mindset was screaming but God was so sweet. So He spoke to me of love and grace and hope and mysteries.
About two months ago, I read some internet "word" by Frank Viola about the desert. It's been awhile since I read it, but three things were seared into my spirit. I'm going to number them so that he gets credit, but know that I have taken these and expounded....
1) You don't settle in the desert. I'm listing this one first as a kind of disclaimer, because of all of the fun that I'm managing to have in this desert. But the point is: The desert is not our inheritance, it's the Promised Land! The temple was not built in the desert, the milk and honey was not in the desert. Eyes on the prize! We must look ahead and not settle.
So: how did some of us get here? We were either led here by the Spirit, or it was sprung on us. I really don't think anyone chooses the desert, but it does have it's purpose.
John the Baptist, Luke 1:80 "And the child grew and became strong in spirit; and he lived in the desert until he appeared publicly to Israel." I like the fact that it's 1:80. As in: Do an aboutface.
John's message was "Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand." Repent is often defined as going in the opposite direction. I like Bill Johnson's take: "Change your way of thinking." (see note: irony alert)
Jesus himself was led by the Spirit into the wilderness. The Israelites escaped Egypt, only to be pursued, then crossed the Red Sea and watched its same waters drown the Egyptians, only to find themselves in: the wilderness. (These two words are interchangable...Strongs 4057) God had mentioned the Promised Land, but sprung on them: the desert. Desert Springs.
Why the desert?
2) The desert is where we get detoxed of religion. First example being the Israelites. They needed to get the slavery out of them before they could handle the freedom of the Promised Land. Evidentally it took a whole generation dying off. THIS IS SERIOUS!!!! We REALLY need to "change our mind" about some things. I'm not gonna say what because I don't know, could be different for everyone. But! Evidentally of the "best of the best" from each tribe, only two (Caleb and Joshua) believed God at his word despite the signs, wonders and miracles they had seen.
The second example: Paul. Formerly a Christian-killing Pharisee named Saul, this guy spent 3 years in (you guessed it) the desert (Gal 1:17-18) before meeting with the other apostles. I would guess the Lord spoke tenderly to him there, revealing the amazing message of grace to this religious man and it took three years in Arabia to accomplish this. I'm sure he needed to detox from a lot of religion.
As I said earlier, I was surprised by the amount of the religious spirit I had.
3) In the desert, you eat manna. Manna is a type of Jesus. John 6:30-35: "So they asked him, 'What miraculous sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? Our forefathers ate the manna in the desert; as it is written: 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat.' Jesus said to them, 'I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.' 'Sir,' they said, 'from now on give us this bread.' Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life.' "
The religious people were asking for a sign, and then saw that there was something better: Bread from heaven. A caution, then, would be not to grow so used to the Manna, like the Israelites did and go back to sign-seeking. (If you know me, you know I love signs, and they surely follow those who believe, not the other way around.) It's all about Jesus and the Manna is such beautiful provision. It reminds me of the Delirious? song: "Most of all, I love to hear Your Voice O God."
Manna was the Hebrew word for "What is it?" In other words, while you're in the desert, ask questions! "Call to me and I will answer you and I will show you great and unsearchable things you do not know." --God. This is of course a promise to all, but there's something beautiful about desert desperation and provision and the closeness of Jesus.
I'll conclude with this: The desert is not our destiny, but sometimes we must go through the desert to get to it. While we don't necessarily like "process", God uses a whole bunch of processes to produce strong-spirited sons who "who so love the people in this world". The kingdom is at hand, the Spirit is our guide, Jesus is Faithful and True and our Father is very, very good. Taste and see.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
GOLD
"But He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold". Job 23:10
"You're going to make it. And you don't need to look good in the process. You sure don't need to worry about looking good." --William Finch
Me--I have a feeling there's a test coming...
CA friend: "And what would the purpose of the test be?"
--That I come forth as gold?
"Sonja, you already are gold. It's already there"
10 min later. Phone rings. I almost don't answer it...
William: "Hey! I'm so glad you're my friend! You're a gold nugget! I have this dream I want to talk to you about..."
Same verse, different version: "But he knows where I am and what I've done. He can cross-examine me all he wants, and I'll pass the test with honors."
So, I'm reading this other verse, that's never really been soothing..."Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles.' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers'!"--Jesus (Mt 7: 21-23).
I start to dialogue with Jesus: I noted that he said, "I never knew YOU", not "you never knew ME". "I don't get this! How can you say you never knew someone, when you say that you know every word on our tongues before we say it and that you wrote all of our days in your book before one of them came to pass?"
I was thinking...I've at least prophesied... and have been used in some minor miracles and certainly aspire to more. He said, "It's about freewill. Any place that you choose to hide from me, because you're afraid of what you'll find, or you don't trust me, or it's too painful, or whatever excuse, conscious or not, any place that you hide from me, I won't "know". (and of course biblical knowing is quite intimate). And if I can't know you there, in your sin, in your shame, in your fear, in your regrets, embarrassments, anger, failings...If you don't trust me to be a safe place and bring it all to me, being real with me, and letting me know you there... then I can't show you how beautiful my love is for you there, and heal you there, and begin to grow something beautiful of that fertilizer (shit). That IS the will of my Father. That you let me love you, transform you...you have nothing to prove. That you come to me and rest in me and be transformed by me. Beautifully dependent on me.
Isaiah 45:2 "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."
I'm "on a sabbatical for personal reasons". I love the word sabbatical. It means a year off, and it means rest. God had the Israelites sow and harvest the land for 6 years, and on the seventh, they were to let it lay and rest, unplowed and unused. This was to take care of the poor and the wild animals. They were to do this with their grain fields, their vineyards and their olive groves. (Grain, wine and oil...) I love it that God himself made a big deal of resting on the seventh day, of letting the Israelites delight in it, and emphasizing it in the New Testament too. Hebrews chapter 4 is all about it. "Lets make every effort to enter that rest." and He highlights keeping your heart open to his voice in the SAME context, and also that he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses! And that we can go directly to his throne whenever we need help. It's referred to as the "throne of grace" and it's where we find grace and mercy whenEVER we need it. This is all in the SAME chapter about entering his rest as a lifestyle. "Today if you hear my voice, do not harden your hearts." (Heb 4:7) The thing is, his voice is so beautiful, so freeing, so healing, so inviting..."Come up here to my throne of grace! I'll give you just what you need. I'll give you rest. No more striving, trying harder, worrying what others think. I'm delighted with you, I want to spend time with you. I love you!"
So I've been spending interactive time with what I've come to call the "Voice of Love". He is ALWAYS there when I call on him, when I ask a question, ask for more explanation. He lets me know that he's pleased with my faith, with my progress, with my honesty. He shows me pictures, explains them, and we have a lot of fun together. He isn't uncomfortable with my tears or my emotion. In fact, I am repeatedly assured that he know just what makes me tick, since he created me, uniquely and in his image. In Hosea, God says, "I will allure her to the wilderness and I will speak tenderly to her." At first I was surprised when he spoke so tenderly. Sad but true. I had such shame from a performance-oriented society (that we all live in) and certain "religious" beliefs, that I thought that if I wasn't going to church (I know! How can you go to what you ARE?), I didn't deserve to be spoken to tenderly. But he is relentlessly kind and tender. He's shown me where I've bought into the system of performing and the idol of looking "good", but he's shown me in such a beautiful, gentle way, so that he can free me from it. So I'm getting "inner healing" and hope, just by hanging out with him and engaging with the good things he wants to do in me and for me. I can't get enough of him! I'm starting to evangelize "interactive time in his presence" in almost every conversation, if I get to steer it. Such as this note.
You know how the prostitutes loved him, and the "winebibbers" partied with him, and the children ran up to him? He really did have good news and a great vibe to share. Only the people that felt safe in the system of performing and having others perform, and trying harder, and shaming others for not trying hard enough... they didn't care for his brand of freedom. They didn't get his kind of unconditional love.
He's gently showing me in what ways I've been like that and is setting me free. That, yes, I've been religious, I bought into it and played the draining game, but he's restoring my innocence and enthusiasm and wonder. That he celebrates my little successes, that he loves is that I'm running more quickly into his arms when I'm feeling fragile or like I've blown it. He lets me know that when I''m vulnerable, feeling exposed or like I've blown it again, that he can do some of his best transforming work as long I as come. He gives me a picture of him resting in my heart on clean, white pillowcases, and thanks me for preparing resting places. He assures me there will be plenty more pillows and cases, he's got them ready for the dark corners, and he's going to walk with me into them with his flashlight, holding my hand. Treasures in darkness, riches in secret places.
Vision: I was in a rowboat, sitting, about 12 feet from shore. I see Jesus wearing black jeans and a black rock band T-shirt and a white belt. He starts wading and splashing through the water to get to me. He has a big smile on his face. He hops in the boat, and is standing up on one of the benches, making it pitch back and forth. I'm concerned that we're going to capsize. He smiles at me and says, "I'm not afraid to rock the boat." I laugh out loud while having the vision, and think, "Thus, the rock and roll T-shirt." He's fun like that, good like that, hanging out with me. We're having a good sabbatical. He's entered his rest (Heb 4:3), why not be there with Him?
(BTW: Stirthewater.com has some amazing exercises for awaking the seer/ hearer. Each exercise has seven stages of questions around a theme, and they provide some training wheels while the interactive dialogue becomes a way of life. I recommend.)
From The Message -- Jesus speaking:
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed you when feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've lost it all. God's kingdom is there for the finding. You're blessed when the tears flow freely. Joy comes with the morning."
(excerpt from Greg Boyd's "Seeing is Believing: Experience Jesus through imaginative prayer.)
"The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth. Where the Holy Spirit is working, what is concealed will be revealed, and things will look as bad, or as good, as they really are. How things APPEAR will not be of concern, so how things ACTUALLY ARE can be openly addressed. Where the Holy Spirit is moving, sick people will be free to be unhealthy and thus will be free to be healed."
...
"Our lives, of course are far from perfect; we still struggle with sin. Yet what Scripture tells us is that all of our sin (ALL) has been taken care of, paid for, forgiven, and forever canceled. The worst thing about us has been exposed (that our sin was so awful, shameful and evil that Jesus had to die), and thus the only leverage Satan could use to keep us in shame and fear is forever gone."
(Greg's thesis is, in a nutshell, that what we believe to be true isn't always what we experience as real. Since these "real" beliefs came about through real experiential hurts, lies, etc., then we need to experience Jesus interactively to get our real and true to line up. This is done by resting in Him, listening, seeing, dialoguing, and NOT by trying harder to please him when he just wants to give us life for free.)
Sounds like hidden treasure that just may be on a narrow road less traveled. In a culture of performance, resting certainly is a narrower road...They don't call it "good news" for nothing.
He calls us the temple of the Holy Spirit. The pattern for the temple was that it was filled with gold, glory and His Very Presence...right at the Mercy Seat, where the blood covers.
"Please do not decline the new wine, or the skin that it comes in" --Cassandra Bartholomew
Grace and peace, Sonja
--originally a "note" from my facebook page
"You're going to make it. And you don't need to look good in the process. You sure don't need to worry about looking good." --William Finch
Me--I have a feeling there's a test coming...
CA friend: "And what would the purpose of the test be?"
--That I come forth as gold?
"Sonja, you already are gold. It's already there"
10 min later. Phone rings. I almost don't answer it...
William: "Hey! I'm so glad you're my friend! You're a gold nugget! I have this dream I want to talk to you about..."
Same verse, different version: "But he knows where I am and what I've done. He can cross-examine me all he wants, and I'll pass the test with honors."
So, I'm reading this other verse, that's never really been soothing..."Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles.' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers'!"--Jesus (Mt 7: 21-23).
I start to dialogue with Jesus: I noted that he said, "I never knew YOU", not "you never knew ME". "I don't get this! How can you say you never knew someone, when you say that you know every word on our tongues before we say it and that you wrote all of our days in your book before one of them came to pass?"
I was thinking...I've at least prophesied... and have been used in some minor miracles and certainly aspire to more. He said, "It's about freewill. Any place that you choose to hide from me, because you're afraid of what you'll find, or you don't trust me, or it's too painful, or whatever excuse, conscious or not, any place that you hide from me, I won't "know". (and of course biblical knowing is quite intimate). And if I can't know you there, in your sin, in your shame, in your fear, in your regrets, embarrassments, anger, failings...If you don't trust me to be a safe place and bring it all to me, being real with me, and letting me know you there... then I can't show you how beautiful my love is for you there, and heal you there, and begin to grow something beautiful of that fertilizer (shit). That IS the will of my Father. That you let me love you, transform you...you have nothing to prove. That you come to me and rest in me and be transformed by me. Beautifully dependent on me.
Isaiah 45:2 "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."
I'm "on a sabbatical for personal reasons". I love the word sabbatical. It means a year off, and it means rest. God had the Israelites sow and harvest the land for 6 years, and on the seventh, they were to let it lay and rest, unplowed and unused. This was to take care of the poor and the wild animals. They were to do this with their grain fields, their vineyards and their olive groves. (Grain, wine and oil...) I love it that God himself made a big deal of resting on the seventh day, of letting the Israelites delight in it, and emphasizing it in the New Testament too. Hebrews chapter 4 is all about it. "Lets make every effort to enter that rest." and He highlights keeping your heart open to his voice in the SAME context, and also that he is able to sympathize with our weaknesses! And that we can go directly to his throne whenever we need help. It's referred to as the "throne of grace" and it's where we find grace and mercy whenEVER we need it. This is all in the SAME chapter about entering his rest as a lifestyle. "Today if you hear my voice, do not harden your hearts." (Heb 4:7) The thing is, his voice is so beautiful, so freeing, so healing, so inviting..."Come up here to my throne of grace! I'll give you just what you need. I'll give you rest. No more striving, trying harder, worrying what others think. I'm delighted with you, I want to spend time with you. I love you!"
So I've been spending interactive time with what I've come to call the "Voice of Love". He is ALWAYS there when I call on him, when I ask a question, ask for more explanation. He lets me know that he's pleased with my faith, with my progress, with my honesty. He shows me pictures, explains them, and we have a lot of fun together. He isn't uncomfortable with my tears or my emotion. In fact, I am repeatedly assured that he know just what makes me tick, since he created me, uniquely and in his image. In Hosea, God says, "I will allure her to the wilderness and I will speak tenderly to her." At first I was surprised when he spoke so tenderly. Sad but true. I had such shame from a performance-oriented society (that we all live in) and certain "religious" beliefs, that I thought that if I wasn't going to church (I know! How can you go to what you ARE?), I didn't deserve to be spoken to tenderly. But he is relentlessly kind and tender. He's shown me where I've bought into the system of performing and the idol of looking "good", but he's shown me in such a beautiful, gentle way, so that he can free me from it. So I'm getting "inner healing" and hope, just by hanging out with him and engaging with the good things he wants to do in me and for me. I can't get enough of him! I'm starting to evangelize "interactive time in his presence" in almost every conversation, if I get to steer it. Such as this note.
You know how the prostitutes loved him, and the "winebibbers" partied with him, and the children ran up to him? He really did have good news and a great vibe to share. Only the people that felt safe in the system of performing and having others perform, and trying harder, and shaming others for not trying hard enough... they didn't care for his brand of freedom. They didn't get his kind of unconditional love.
He's gently showing me in what ways I've been like that and is setting me free. That, yes, I've been religious, I bought into it and played the draining game, but he's restoring my innocence and enthusiasm and wonder. That he celebrates my little successes, that he loves is that I'm running more quickly into his arms when I'm feeling fragile or like I've blown it. He lets me know that when I''m vulnerable, feeling exposed or like I've blown it again, that he can do some of his best transforming work as long I as come. He gives me a picture of him resting in my heart on clean, white pillowcases, and thanks me for preparing resting places. He assures me there will be plenty more pillows and cases, he's got them ready for the dark corners, and he's going to walk with me into them with his flashlight, holding my hand. Treasures in darkness, riches in secret places.
Vision: I was in a rowboat, sitting, about 12 feet from shore. I see Jesus wearing black jeans and a black rock band T-shirt and a white belt. He starts wading and splashing through the water to get to me. He has a big smile on his face. He hops in the boat, and is standing up on one of the benches, making it pitch back and forth. I'm concerned that we're going to capsize. He smiles at me and says, "I'm not afraid to rock the boat." I laugh out loud while having the vision, and think, "Thus, the rock and roll T-shirt." He's fun like that, good like that, hanging out with me. We're having a good sabbatical. He's entered his rest (Heb 4:3), why not be there with Him?
(BTW: Stirthewater.com has some amazing exercises for awaking the seer/ hearer. Each exercise has seven stages of questions around a theme, and they provide some training wheels while the interactive dialogue becomes a way of life. I recommend.)
From The Message -- Jesus speaking:
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed you when feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've lost it all. God's kingdom is there for the finding. You're blessed when the tears flow freely. Joy comes with the morning."
(excerpt from Greg Boyd's "Seeing is Believing: Experience Jesus through imaginative prayer.)
"The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth. Where the Holy Spirit is working, what is concealed will be revealed, and things will look as bad, or as good, as they really are. How things APPEAR will not be of concern, so how things ACTUALLY ARE can be openly addressed. Where the Holy Spirit is moving, sick people will be free to be unhealthy and thus will be free to be healed."
...
"Our lives, of course are far from perfect; we still struggle with sin. Yet what Scripture tells us is that all of our sin (ALL) has been taken care of, paid for, forgiven, and forever canceled. The worst thing about us has been exposed (that our sin was so awful, shameful and evil that Jesus had to die), and thus the only leverage Satan could use to keep us in shame and fear is forever gone."
(Greg's thesis is, in a nutshell, that what we believe to be true isn't always what we experience as real. Since these "real" beliefs came about through real experiential hurts, lies, etc., then we need to experience Jesus interactively to get our real and true to line up. This is done by resting in Him, listening, seeing, dialoguing, and NOT by trying harder to please him when he just wants to give us life for free.)
Sounds like hidden treasure that just may be on a narrow road less traveled. In a culture of performance, resting certainly is a narrower road...They don't call it "good news" for nothing.
He calls us the temple of the Holy Spirit. The pattern for the temple was that it was filled with gold, glory and His Very Presence...right at the Mercy Seat, where the blood covers.
"Please do not decline the new wine, or the skin that it comes in" --Cassandra Bartholomew
Grace and peace, Sonja
--originally a "note" from my facebook page
irony alert: the term "born again" has been hijacked by the very ones it was meant for...
Nicodemus comes to Jesus at night and gives him his approval: "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him." He's wanting something, he's hungry, he knows there's something he needs that he doesn't have. There's something different about Jesus.
And Jesus doesn't commend him. He could have said, "Nicodemus! You are a Pharisee! You have studied, you are very knowledgeable..." Instead he confuses him: "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."
Relax. I'm not going to preach that phrase. The irony is that it's been hijacked by the very same class of people that Nicodemus represented. Knowledgeable, serious, religious people who really knew the word of God and the "right" thing to do in any cirucumstance.
Jesus goes on..."I tell you truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh and spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, "You must be born again." The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." (((BORN OF THE SPIRIT!!!!!)))
Wow, that sounds unpredictable. Not at all like a formula. Not at all like "repeat after me". So what's He saying? Jesus responds to different people in different ways. He did NOT say "You must be born again" to the tax collectors, prostitutes, winebibbers or the woman at the well. Nicodemus was a very educated, respected member of the religious "who's who" at the time. The same people that Jesus in general called a "brood of vipers" and condemned as "blind leading the blind" and said "You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice the son of hell as you are." The last example particularly fitting with the irony of the phrase at hand.... Jesus used this phrase "you must be born again" to the upper caste of people in the religious system of the day. The very people who turn the phrase and preach it to those to whom it was never directed at by Jesus himself.
So what does it mean? I started thinking about it like a dream. What would the allegory be? The word picture of entering a second time into your mother's womb to be born? But Jesus says no, not flesh but Spirit. Starting all over.
Relearning to walk, relearning to talk, (in a new way--by the Spirit--new territory)--going from milk to meat... (incidentally THAT was also directed toward the Hebrews! Those who already knew quite a bit about the law). Nicodemus had the Torah memorized, as well as a whole bunch of added rules and commentary not even required by God, but tradition. What if Jesus was challenging that whole understanding? Saying: Start all over and learn from the Spirit, not from the mind. He challenges him right afterward: "You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things?" It seems as though Jesus is saying, "Now, THIS is ironic..."
Jesus was (IS) saying this to "the Church".
It kept echoing: Begin anew. Learn from the Spirit. No more assumptions. No more "American Christian"...where my culture flavors my hearing the Spirit.
That night, I woke up and looked at my digital clock. 1:01. Like "Blown by Spirit 101" Entry level, basic course. Foundational. Starting at the beginning. Learning the alphabet of a new language.
Later that morning, I woke up a second time too early. The clock said 5:23. I was born at 5:23 in the morning. A confirmation just for me. I was on to something here.
The question then: With the "western mindset", "Greek thinking" and plain old indoctrination, being told what to think, etc. Where to begin? There's NO FORMULA! It's a deLIGHTful adventure.
Holy Spirit may be teaching each person a different lesson and if we judge with our minds (trap), we will think the other person is whacked because they aren't learning the same lesson at the same time in the same way that we are.
It echoes what Jesus offers: "If you're tired, weary, burdened...come to me. Take my yoke upon you and LEARN FROM ME and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is LIGHT." We are not to be afraid. He's good, he's for us, anything's possible!
It time to hear and see for ourselves by the Spirit. Much of what is taught is worse than just pablum or boring. It is actually keeping people in bondage and limited, just like the people that Nicodemus represented. (I have nothing against Nicodemus, nor do I have anyone specific in mind as I write. I believe Nicodemus was sincere and "got it" as evidenced by the end of the story. And Saul became Paul, and "Nothing is impossible with God".) Jesus said repeatedly, "Those who have ears, let them hear." That's why we must be "born again" by the Spirit. This is for us, is it good, and I can't stress enough that we may be way further behind than we think. So, I might make some grammar mistakes along the way in this new language, I might fall down a few times while learning to walk, but nobody ever tells a baby to give up, it's too hard. We're just encouraged to learn (and keep learning) and hear (and keep hearing).
No one I know uses this phrase anymore, it's become quite offensive as in "Born Again Christian" synonymous with _______. (You fill in the blank). It's taken our voice out of the conversation. We are supposed to have GOOD news, not bad news, or at the least average news. Quite simply "You are loved by the Creator of the universe and he wants to show you things you've only dreamed of, before you quit dreaming. There is a better way. The way of no condemnation, a life-giving way. Shared with the Life-Giver. It's an adventure that never stops and he helps you as you mature into wild new things that he'll constantly reveal if you want." No one uses the phrase anymore, but taken in context, it just might bring a fresh wind of hope and possibility to the people in the institution. So that we don't produce "twice..."
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his GOOD, pleasing and perfect will".
This was also written to Christians. And Paul was flat out saying they had a problem: their minds were in serious trouble, they were conformed to a worldly pattern.
I can't resist a Greg Boyd paraphrase here: It's like the Matrix. We've been programmed all wrong. That's exactly why we need to start over by the Spirit.
" 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him;'--BUT God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." 1 Cor 2: 9-10.
Okay, the WHOLE chapter! It ends with "But we have the mind of Christ".
Blessings to you, may your spirits be strengthened and encouraged by His,
Sonja
Coming soon:
*Where on the map do we learn this?
and
*PROCESS....
And Jesus doesn't commend him. He could have said, "Nicodemus! You are a Pharisee! You have studied, you are very knowledgeable..." Instead he confuses him: "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."
Relax. I'm not going to preach that phrase. The irony is that it's been hijacked by the very same class of people that Nicodemus represented. Knowledgeable, serious, religious people who really knew the word of God and the "right" thing to do in any cirucumstance.
Jesus goes on..."I tell you truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh and spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, "You must be born again." The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." (((BORN OF THE SPIRIT!!!!!)))
Wow, that sounds unpredictable. Not at all like a formula. Not at all like "repeat after me". So what's He saying? Jesus responds to different people in different ways. He did NOT say "You must be born again" to the tax collectors, prostitutes, winebibbers or the woman at the well. Nicodemus was a very educated, respected member of the religious "who's who" at the time. The same people that Jesus in general called a "brood of vipers" and condemned as "blind leading the blind" and said "You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice the son of hell as you are." The last example particularly fitting with the irony of the phrase at hand.... Jesus used this phrase "you must be born again" to the upper caste of people in the religious system of the day. The very people who turn the phrase and preach it to those to whom it was never directed at by Jesus himself.
So what does it mean? I started thinking about it like a dream. What would the allegory be? The word picture of entering a second time into your mother's womb to be born? But Jesus says no, not flesh but Spirit. Starting all over.
Relearning to walk, relearning to talk, (in a new way--by the Spirit--new territory)--going from milk to meat... (incidentally THAT was also directed toward the Hebrews! Those who already knew quite a bit about the law). Nicodemus had the Torah memorized, as well as a whole bunch of added rules and commentary not even required by God, but tradition. What if Jesus was challenging that whole understanding? Saying: Start all over and learn from the Spirit, not from the mind. He challenges him right afterward: "You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things?" It seems as though Jesus is saying, "Now, THIS is ironic..."
Jesus was (IS) saying this to "the Church".
It kept echoing: Begin anew. Learn from the Spirit. No more assumptions. No more "American Christian"...where my culture flavors my hearing the Spirit.
That night, I woke up and looked at my digital clock. 1:01. Like "Blown by Spirit 101" Entry level, basic course. Foundational. Starting at the beginning. Learning the alphabet of a new language.
Later that morning, I woke up a second time too early. The clock said 5:23. I was born at 5:23 in the morning. A confirmation just for me. I was on to something here.
The question then: With the "western mindset", "Greek thinking" and plain old indoctrination, being told what to think, etc. Where to begin? There's NO FORMULA! It's a deLIGHTful adventure.
Holy Spirit may be teaching each person a different lesson and if we judge with our minds (trap), we will think the other person is whacked because they aren't learning the same lesson at the same time in the same way that we are.
It echoes what Jesus offers: "If you're tired, weary, burdened...come to me. Take my yoke upon you and LEARN FROM ME and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is LIGHT." We are not to be afraid. He's good, he's for us, anything's possible!
It time to hear and see for ourselves by the Spirit. Much of what is taught is worse than just pablum or boring. It is actually keeping people in bondage and limited, just like the people that Nicodemus represented. (I have nothing against Nicodemus, nor do I have anyone specific in mind as I write. I believe Nicodemus was sincere and "got it" as evidenced by the end of the story. And Saul became Paul, and "Nothing is impossible with God".) Jesus said repeatedly, "Those who have ears, let them hear." That's why we must be "born again" by the Spirit. This is for us, is it good, and I can't stress enough that we may be way further behind than we think. So, I might make some grammar mistakes along the way in this new language, I might fall down a few times while learning to walk, but nobody ever tells a baby to give up, it's too hard. We're just encouraged to learn (and keep learning) and hear (and keep hearing).
No one I know uses this phrase anymore, it's become quite offensive as in "Born Again Christian" synonymous with _______. (You fill in the blank). It's taken our voice out of the conversation. We are supposed to have GOOD news, not bad news, or at the least average news. Quite simply "You are loved by the Creator of the universe and he wants to show you things you've only dreamed of, before you quit dreaming. There is a better way. The way of no condemnation, a life-giving way. Shared with the Life-Giver. It's an adventure that never stops and he helps you as you mature into wild new things that he'll constantly reveal if you want." No one uses the phrase anymore, but taken in context, it just might bring a fresh wind of hope and possibility to the people in the institution. So that we don't produce "twice..."
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his GOOD, pleasing and perfect will".
This was also written to Christians. And Paul was flat out saying they had a problem: their minds were in serious trouble, they were conformed to a worldly pattern.
I can't resist a Greg Boyd paraphrase here: It's like the Matrix. We've been programmed all wrong. That's exactly why we need to start over by the Spirit.
" 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him;'--BUT God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." 1 Cor 2: 9-10.
Okay, the WHOLE chapter! It ends with "But we have the mind of Christ".
Blessings to you, may your spirits be strengthened and encouraged by His,
Sonja
Coming soon:
*Where on the map do we learn this?
and
*PROCESS....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
